Creating a thriving garden requires motivation, imagination and patience and invites us to work alongside nature, catering to the individual needs of the plants. Do they prefer full sun or partial shade, acid or alkaline soil? Once suitable plants are chosen and soil preparation and planting completed, we can sit back and wait.
It may sound obvious but nature loves to grow. The young plants will instinctively extend their roots in order to take nourishment from the soil. Leaves will unfurl and over time flowers bloom. Growing takes time. Whilst growth can be encouraged, by providing the best environment, you cannot hasten a plant to grow quicker than it is naturally capable of growing.
We are no different. Just like new bedding plants we need time to grow and establish change in our lives. The conditions we find ourselves in can either support or hinder our ability to stretch beyond our comfort zone or collapse under the weight of fear and self-doubt.
Life is full of paradox however and can take an unexpected turn in a matter of seconds be it through some sort of loss or ill health. The repercussions of loosing a loved one for instance or adapting to ill health or the loss of one’s livelihood may be felt for years to come. So I ask you:
What sustains you through change, welcome or not?
How do you move beyond blame and shame?
What are the answers to the questions you ask yourself in the dark of the night?
Acceptance is the final stage in the cycle of Grief and Loss, first proposed by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, in her book On Death and Dying. This does not mean that devastating loss or unwelcome change feels right or good. Rather that in time, we come into presence with the new reality instead of denying its existence. Danna Faulds offers us a glimpse of the transformation that can occur as we open to change, in her poem ‘Allow’.
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.